


The Keep it Light Mystery

by klatukatt



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Fluff, Forget blackwing for now, I don't know where this is going right now, Keep it light, M/M, Mystery, Present for a tumblr friend, Springs, but there are going to be silly names
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-12 14:37:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9076846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klatukatt/pseuds/klatukatt
Summary: During Todd and Dirk's developing relationship they get their first case, from Bart Curlish.





	1. Nice desk

"They spelled your name wrong on the door."  
Todd entered the office and conversation as if he had been there all along.   
Dirk managed his reserved smile so as not to grin mightily. “Yes, I was surprised to learn my name was Gnetly but at least the nameplate is correct. Paint on the door is easy to fix."  
Dirk stood proudly by his desk in a shiny orange sport jacket over his normal button up and tie. Todd had not even tried to dress up wearing torn jeans and holey t-shirt with the logo of some long defunct indie band. He sauntered over  
"A nameplate too? You have sold out. Whatever happened to going wherever the stream of the universe took you?"  
Dirk immediately got defensive. "I prefer to think of it as a home base, where the universe can find me--"  
Todd's fingers moved from caressing the nameplate to its owner. "Dirk, I was teasing you," he said, pressing into the hideous orange jacket.   
"Todd," Dirk was a bit upset, "you know I don't understand sarcasm."  
"I'm sorry," said Todd, sincerely. He still fluttered his eyelashes and tilted his head up for a kiss that Dirk was happy to accept.   
His relationship with Dirk was unlike anything Todd had ever experienced. All his other lovers had been snarky, manipulative, and sometimes even violent. When your normal atmosphere was 'dive bar' hostility was just another way to flirt.   
Dirk, on the other hand, was entirely open and honest and said harsh words rarely. With the mysteries of the universe knocking at the, now literal, door sharing with Todd kept him sane. It made love easy, too.   
Dirk broke off the kiss. "Now, do you like the desk?"  
Todd sighed slightly. Dirk was not one to be distracted. "Yes, I like the desk. It looks sturdy." He circled to the other side and planted his hands firmly. "You know, a lot of people have fantasies about their boss and a nice, sturdy desk."  
Dirk leaned over, mimicking Todd right down to the smile. "I can't tell if you are teasing again." Todd's round, innocent eyes weren't helping.   
"I'm not joking."  
Their eyes were so entwined they about jumped out of their skin when they noticed the other person in the office saying "Hey Dirk."  
Bart was wearing ill fitting clothes, as usual, but at least they were clean.  
"Ken's gone. You find him."


	2. Nice Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pararibulitus, mystery meds, and angry psychics.

While Todd stood frozen with fear Dirk jumped, twitched, and stammered. "Oh! I didn't see, hear, or feel you come in."  
Bart was shifting her weight slightly and chewing one fingernail while the other hand was in her hoodie pocket clearly clutching a handgun through the dull grey fabric.  
Dirk slid into his newly aquired office chair and continued to stare. “What seems to be the nature of the problem?"  
"I told you, Ken's gone. I wanna find him."  
"And who's Ken?"  
Bart sighed. "The guy, you know, that follows me and talks." She started gesturing with her hands apparently unaware that one was still holding a gun. "You know, he fixed that machine that one time?"  
Dirk looked at Todd as if to say ("I don't know, I had major blood loss at the time.")  
"We're gonna need more to go on than that," Todd translated.   
Bart rolled her eyes. "No he don't. He just needs to go out there," her gun swung wildly to the door, "and find him."  
"While I would love to take your case, miss, ehm--" Dirk stared with raised eyebrows; Bart's remained low and suspicious. "What is your name?"  
"Bart," she said, thumping the gun against her chest. "Dirk," she said pointing the gun at him in a patronizing way. "Ken," she said once more, aiming out the door.   
"Yes, alright, Bart," the name sounded strange coming from Dirk's mouth. "My question is, why don't you find him yourself?"  
Bart snorted. “The universe doesn't want him dead, it- I just wanna find him." The last bit was very quiet.  
"Okay," said Todd warily. "What's his last name?"  
Bart shrugged.   
"Does he have any other friends? Family?"  
Bart shrugged.   
"Did he tell you anything before he left?"  
Bart shrugged. "Why you asking all this stuff?"  
"Because it's important."  
"No it's not! All he gotta do is walk out that door with a target in mind and things will happen!" Bart's voice and ire was aimed directly at Todd.   
"All right!" Dirk stood abruptly without wavering. "For our first case we will find your friend."  
Bart grinned, her anger evaporating as she looked at Dirk's eager face. "M'okay." She turned suddenly and shuffled out of the room as quickly as she arrived.   
Todd coughed out a sound of disbelief. "Dirk, this is crazy! We are looking for a guy we know nothing about on the word of a person who wants to kill you!"  
Dirk slid on the desk closer to Todd. "Wanted to kill me, yes, but it was just a crossed wire. We all get those sometimes." Todd shivered when Dirk touched his shoulder. “Are you all right?"  
Todd's face scrunched up in pain and he leaned forward with his eyes closed to whisper in Dirk's ear. "Um, my hands have frozen to the desk."  
Dirk looked down to see Todd's perfectly normal hands pressed onto the surface and slightly pale from tension.   
“Oh dear," Dirk said while moving behind Todd. "We are going to get through this. Which pocket is your medication?"  
"Jeans, f-f-front right." Todd was shivering and kept his eyes shut tight; it was sometimes easier when he didn't have to see what his brain thought was happening.   
Dirk wrapped his arms around Todd's trembling body and slid his hand into the pocket containing the slim pill case he had picked out for Todd after too much whining about how a prescription pill bottle was uncomfortable.   
"I suppose this would be a good time for an inappropriate joke," Dirk whispered.   
"I've taught you well." Todd laughed, painfully.  
"Shhhh," said Dirk as he opened the pill case with one hand. "What are you feeling?"  
"The ice is moving up my arms. My hands are completely encased and my fingers are going numb. I don't want to look, my fingers will fall off--" He was interrupted by gentle fingers pressing a pill between his lips.   
"Okay, I want you to feel this." Dirk ran his hands down Todd's arms all the way to his fingertips. “Feel the warmth of my hands. They are melting the ice, thawing your skin. The water is dripping away. You can relax now."  
Todd's arms stopped their spasmodic twitching and he melted back against Dirk, surprising himself at the trust he felt. The detective held him there gently as the attack subsided.   
"You're human is broken." Bart was back in the room but Dirk shhhhed her confidently.   
“That's not a nice thing to say," Dirk said. Todd was elsewhere, mentally, right now.  
"My human fixes things, but machines and stuff. What does yours do?"  
"He exists," Dirk answered pointedly. "That's enough."  
"Well, you should fix him, cuz we gotta go."   
Dirk looked at Bart and then to Todd wondering for a second if he was keeping this human as a pet. But only a second, then the thought was gone. Dirk was not Bart and Todd was not Ken.   
He nudged Todd into more of a conscious state and whispered "Let's have an adventure!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't proofread, I'm sorry.


End file.
